i'd buy that for a dollar

this is quite possibly the greatest invention ever created.

simply amazing.

trader joe's chocolate covered peanut butter pretzels

oh. my. god.

if you've never eaten these, you are really missing out.

i beg you, if you have a trader joe's nearby, go there and buy a bag of these. quite simply, they are the most delicious snack ever.

i will describe them in the order in which they penetrate my tastebuds and thereby leave me in a state of euphoria.

first the chocolate. it is a really good quality chocolate. it's smooth, silky, rich, and damn tasty. it's definitely a couple notches above hershey's, without a doubt. i prefer to swirl the piece around in my mouth until about half of the chocolate is gone, then i can start to taste the saltiness of the pretzel, upon which i bite into it and release the peanut buttery goodness inside, thus giving me the retardedly great peanut butter, chocolate, pretzel, sweet/salty awesomeness.

another thing i really love about this snack is that if you hold up a piece and shake it, you can hear the peanut butter inside shaking around. i don't know why it's cool to do it, but it just is. you'll understand once you have it in hand.

as far as snacks go, this gets 5 stars out of 5.

burger king quad stacker

there are many many things wrong with this sandwich. not only the physical application of said sandwich, but also the lack of morals by burger king for inventing it, and the lack of self-respect by anyone who actually orders it. hence, i have tried it, and would like to offer my impressions.

first of all, there is way too much cheese. all i tasted was cheese upon cheese upon processed orangey yuckiness. i mean, it's not like burger king is putting slices of aged cheddar on here or anything. it's the same crappy cheese that goes on all their burgers. there is no need for 4 slices of it. gross.

also, as absurd a notion as this sandwich is to begin with, the bacon isn't necessary. i mean, let's think about this for one second. did you hear what i just said??? i just called BACON "unnecessary." do you have any idea how hard it is for me to say that bacon doesn't make something better? chances are, you do, or else you wouldn't be reading this...

maybe it's just that i don't really like burger king's burgers very much to begin with. i mean, if you asked me to rate their burgers compared to wendy's, mcdonald's, white castle, in-and-out, checkers, sonic, and any one of a wide variety of fast food burgers that i've eaten in my lifetime, they'd probably be dead last. however, regardless of how much i dislike burger king's burgers, i've eaten them before without hating myself for it. not so with the quad stacker. it's definitely not one of my favorite fast food burgers.

ultimately, it could be decent if there were at least two less slices of cheese. then perhaps all the shitty ingredients that go into fast food burgers would somehow come together in that way that they miraculously seem to do.

1.5 out of 5 stars.